Did you know that some women lead perfectly happy and healthy lives without ever stepping on a scale? There are women out there who don't even know what they weigh! If you are one of those women, as I'm sure some of you are, then you will spend the rest of this post shaking your head in bewilderment. See, I am not one of those women. I have had a long tumultuous history with that little number, my weight. About a year ago I was weighing myself multiple times a day and driving myself crazy with the implications, ie. "That was the biggest poop ever! How did I not lose any weight?!" I was even one of those nuts who would waste precious alone time in the bathroom recalibrating, checking, and even relocating my scale in case the gravity was more favorable on the other end of the room. (Note: this doesn't work. You'd have to relocate to the moon to see a noticeable effect on your weight.)
I am not proud to say how much that number meant to me. A high number spelled doom for the rest of the day. A low number was good but made me panicky to figure out what I had done to get it. I obsessed about that number, worried about that number, and finally broke down and had one of those gut-wrenching cries that leaves you so puffy eyed that you're embarrassed to go in public, all over that stupid number. As I sobbed to my husband I had a realization: I've got to get over this number.
My therapist and I came to an agreement: the end goal, which seemed too scary to approach at the moment, was to give up my dependence on the scale. In the meantime, however, I would limit myself to just one weigh-in a day. Unlike some of the things my therapist has asked me to do, I surprised myself by being able to do this one and stick to it right away. It was a relief, actually, to not be such a slave to my scale. But I still had my once-a-day ritual to keep the anxiety at bay. Because after all, everyone knows that one of the proven ways to keep from regaining lost weight is to weigh yourself every day. The number still drove me crazy but it was a more controlled crazy.
And then, like magic, my scale disappeared. In a house with three tiny tots things are often relocated on irrational whims. (Salad dressing in the piano bench? Crayons in the heater vent? My eyelash curler in the toilet? Why not!) This time, however, I strongly suspected my husband. Despite several days of whining, cajoling and begging none of the males in my house 'fessed up nor relinquished my scale.
Fine, I thought angrily as the anxiety mounted - there was Halloween candy in the house, people! - I'll show them. I'll just get another scale. And so, being a cheapskate, to the thrift store I headed. Long story short: the same place that sells lead paint (right next to the baby spoons) and 8-track players and half of a sandwich maker, doesn't sell scales.
"It's a sign," my husband commented dryly. "The universe doesn't care how much you weigh." The thought was overwhelming. I just wasn't ready yet!
It's not good to obsess about your weight. We all know that. We all also know that we live in a weight-obsessed culture where being fat is wrongly equated with being lazy, stupid, lacking self control, and even dishonesty. Where fat people are villified, skinny celebs can do no wrong despite being caught on camera boozing it up, neglecting their children, and saying outrageous things. The fact is that your weight does not determine your character. We know this and yet we still believe the popular media myth if we were thin, then everything else would be right. We'd be smart, have glamorous jobs, make witty conversation at black-tie cocktail parties and, natch, be having all of the sex.
What is the price of all these mental go-rounds? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (you know, the folk who remind you to get your flu shot every year? Which, btw, I totally did. And I still got the flu.), people who worry about their weight are more likely to feel physically and/or mentally unhealthy, even causing them to take more sick days. Although both genders were affected, unsurprisingly, the results were more pronounced in women.
Hollywood Lies
Why would we worry so much about being skinny, even at the expense of our health? Here's one answer from Personal Trainer to the Stars, Gunnar Peterson:
"I had one actress who trained with me and took six Spin classes a week. And all she ate was lettuce and Swedish Fish. When the press asked her how she’d "transformed" her body, she said, "Oh, I do yoga and hike with my puppy." That made me laugh. Don’t lie about how much you work out, because other women are going to think, I walk my dog, why don’t I look like that?"
Another gem from Gunnar:
“One client I had would stave off eating as long as she could — it was just coffee, coffee, coffee all day. She’d have a practically zero-calorie salad in the afternoon, skip dinner then go booze with her friends. Her organs were so stressed that when we trained together, I could literally hear her heart pounding away in her chest. Working out was a waste because she was so exhausted.”
Skinny Does Not Equal Healthy
Just like skinny does not automatically make someone more loveable, more honest, or more intelligent, it does not equate to health either. The New York Times sums it up nicely:
"We need to re-engineer what public health agencies are telling people,” said Dr. Peter Muennig, the lead author of the study and an assistant professor at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia. “The ‘diet and exercise’ part is good, but the ‘get thin’ part may be dangerous.”
I wish I could say that I've totally kicked my scale addiction but being pregnant, if anything, has only made me more attached to that magic number. Knowing that my doctor is going to weigh me every time I come in and that that number can be affected by what time of day it is, what I had for lunch and my clothing, it seems even more important to weigh myself at home so I know the "real" number. What's your stance on the scale? If you have managed to kick your addiction, how did you do it?
I wish I could say that I've totally kicked my scale addiction but being pregnant, if anything, has only made me more attached to that magic number. Knowing that my doctor is going to weigh me every time I come in and that that number can be affected by what time of day it is, what I had for lunch and my clothing, it seems even more important to weigh myself at home so I know the "real" number. What's your stance on the scale? If you have managed to kick your addiction, how did you do it?